Two Sues Naruto Style
by Selkit-Guardian
Summary: A flaming of Sues mixed with SasuNaru goodness! Not for Sue lovers! Also contains mild KibaHina, ShikaTema, and InoCho.


**Two Sues- Naruto Style**

**An: Another oneshot with a message. If you have ever seen fanfics that flame Mary Sues (or their male counterparts, Gary Stues)… well, this is one of them! I can't stand Sues. They drive. me. insane! So, here is my response to them. (Does anyone even read this thing? Hm…)**

**This was done after I saw many creators of Sues actually had the **_**gall**_** to get upset when people flamed them! Either that, or they insisted that their character was not a Sue because they weren't thinking of themselves when they wrote it. Honey, when not just one but **_**many**_** people flame you and tell you that your character is a Sue, guess what? It probably is! If one person flames, who cares, though. And just as it is your right to create Sues and then post them (to many people's displeasure), it is the right of others to flame them. So don't moan and complain. If you need to give someone a Sue quality, give them to an character already in the original show. People normally don't care at all then.**

**I will admit that it seems that there are **_**many**_** more Mary Sues than Gary Stues. I almost **_**never**_** see one of those.**

**I will probably get yelled at by some authors for daring to call their characters Sues. Bu before you do: THIS FANFIC IS NOT TARGETING ANY PARTICULAR SUE!!! IF YOU HAVE ONE, CHANCES ARE I DID NOT READ IT. IF YOU HAVE A CHARACTER ANYTHING LIKE THE ONES MENTIONED BELOW THEN IT IS PURE COINCIDENCE THAT THEY ARE IN ANY WAY SIMILAR. **

**The Sues in this story have been given the biggest Sue qualities that I could think of. Normally having even one of these characteristics is enough for an OC to be classified as a Sue. **

**A Sue: And overly perfect or unrealistic* character. Normally has a tragic past and an attitude problem. Characterized by having one, some, or all main characters of the opposite gender after them. Often had a tragic past.**

***Yes it is fan**_**fiction**_**, but there still tend to be guidelines to follow. Don't make a vampire character or a werewolf/cat/dragon/any other animal (these are the biggest ones I hear about) if it is not in the original plot line; UNLESS it is AU (Alternate Universe) and other characters are also of these varieties. No, making it an AU does not automatically make your character not a Sue. Don't try that with me.**

**NOTE: Having an OC (other character, not in the original show) and a Mary Sue are two **_**very**_** different thing! OCs are fine and they can have interesting things about them; just don't make them Sues.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto! If I did I would be rich. I did make the Sues in this story but I have NO desire to claim them. They will be locked in a small box after this…**

It was bright and sunny day when the Sues came to the otherwise peaceful city of Konoha. The birds chirped, the civilians shopped, and ninjas darted to and fro happily. And sadly it wasn't just one Sue who wandered into this setting… it was two.

Enter Katsumi Tsukiko Fukushima, a pureblood Mary Sue. With her long purple hair that stretched down to her size zero waist and eyes that changed colors with her mood, who could resist her?! Her tiny skirt, that somehow everyone called 'cute' and 'complimenting' instead of 'slutty' and 'not even there' made her legs look like they went on forever. Her ripped, clingy shirt showed off her perfect chest, made even more perfect by her vampire heritage. Oh, didn't you know? She is the daughter of the vampire king, and is therefore super powerful! Not only does she control all elements, she also controls shadows! Why, she could even read minds and fly with a pair of large feathery black wings that would sprout from her back at her command. And let's not forget that all males fell in love with her at sight, entranced by her immortal beauty. Immortal, you ask? But of course! It comes with the turf.

With a permanent pout etched onto her flawless face she sashayed into the village, throwing dark, brooding looks at all the males. Her ripped shirt displayed the star-shaped scar on her chest that proclaimed her to be the most powerful person in the world and the future savior of the world. Or at least, that's what the mysterious prophecy said. First loyal Kiba, then brilliant Skikamaru, then poor energetic Lee, who until this moment had been besotted with Sakura, fell under her Sue Spell. Her ninja headband , from the Village Hidden in the Night, flashed in the sunlight, drawing even more attention to herself.

Enter Sue number two. Now this Sue was a bit different. You see, this Sue was a Stue! A Gary Stue, a rarer breed than a run-of-the-mill Mary Sue. With the name Masahiko Kanagawa, he was destined for greatness. His black hair with natural red streaks at the end highlighted his amazing red Sharingan eyes. Yes, this was a relative of the one and only Sasuke Uchiha, stronger than Itachi Uchiha, as a matter of fact. His bad boy clothes drew attention from every girl in the village. They all quickly became entranced with his hurt, need attention aura. You could just tell what a tragic past he had, his parents had obviously been killed right in front of his eyes, fostering trust issues that could only be cured by the right girl loving him and dieing to save his life in the end, thus starting the cycle once more.

As soon as she saw him Sakura forgot all about her devotion to Sasuke and began to stalk him, giggling every time he glanced at anything near her. Ino ditched her boy Chouji, who began to chase after the Sue. Shy Hinata suddenly overcame her anguish at being forsaken by Kiba for the Sue and began to trail after the new Stue. Temari left Skikamaru and began to actually apply makeup in an attempt to gain the affection of the stoic Stue while Ten Ten began to flash her weapons in an attempt to impress him with a show of strength. But of course, they were ignored; he was just too broken hearted and tragic to be seduced! The girls would not be ignored however! Oh no, they began to fight, trapping him in their midst.

Meanwhile, Katsumi Tsukiko Fukushima left her ever growing throng of admirers to approach the two most popular boys in the city, Sasuke and Naruto. Both were in the middle of a sparring session, innocently minding their own business. The Sue entered the clearing they were in with an explosion of glittering powder, knowing that the moment that they saw her they would fall instantly in love with her and fight each other to the death over her. And then, the Sue spoke.

"I'll let whoever wins be my boyfriend. But don't fight over me! I'm not worth it!" The speech was accompanied by a weak attempt to throw herself between them, her hands waving dramatically as faux tear flowed down her face.

Both ninja paused in their spar and turned to stare at her.

"Why would we fight over you? And you're right, you're not worth it." Sasuke drawled, eyebrow arched and a look of pure disdain on his face.

The Sue smiled sweetly, batting her eyes. "Oh, I knew you would both come to your senses and stop fighting. But oh, however will you decide which one of you will be my boyfriend now. How will I choose?! After all, I can only take the strongest as my soul mate."

Naruto began to back away, a perturbed look on his face. "Um, what? No, neither of us want you. You kinda creep us out. And soul mate? What the hell?! We haven't even met you before! Creepy psycho!"

"Besides," Sasuke smirked, stepping up alongside the blond, "Naruto is _my_ boyfriend." This said he swept the blond kitsune into a kiss.

The Sue screamed in disbelief that someone couldn't want her and melted out of existence now that she couldn't be paired with one of the main male characters.

And as for the Stue? He was mauled by the girls. The mental scarring was much worse though. He had to be sent to a mental ward, never to be heard from again.

And thus, the village returned to normal once more. Ninjas once again frolicked in peace and safety from the Terrible Sues. The previous relationships were reestablished instantly. And Sasuke and Naruto? Yeah, they just kept making out for a while.

**The End**

**If you agree that Sues are horrible don't forget to leave a review!**


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